Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs SIMBA CC

I was initially going to try and do this report in 20 words, however this was proving troublesome, therefore I have increased my limit to: 469.

Here goes...

To sum this game up I feel "Bish, bash, bosh" are the only words appropriate.

With thanks to our friends at the conference, who got in a right muddle, matching two sides that were so close in ability it would almost be like matching the Australian Test XI against the Please select: Azerbaijani Girl Guides Blind 2nd XIEngland's Ashes touring party 2007The Statics I may have done the Simba batting line up a slight misfortune in this comparison, so my apologies to them both...

The first over went something like this:

Helmet. Helmet. No helmet. 2.5 meters down the wicket. Single. Caught Slip - (The Coach).

Another wicket was soon to follow. This was where the Eltham joy stopped, or was more accurately left somewhere in the bushes, on all sides of the boundary.

Bishing, bashing, and yes, quite a lot of boshing, was soon to follow in abundance. With Lloyd clearly feeling that despite taking his guard almost half way down the track, the best that Eltham had to offer still wasn't enough for his hair to get in the way, so he proceeded to "walk in" just like some of the Eltham fielders. Please note the emphasis on the word some.

Anyways, many more fours and sixes were to follow, clearing the boundary by such a height they returned with re-entry burn marks.

After 39 over?s, 294 runs, 2 wickets, two smiling Simba batsmen (153 N.O. and 101 N.O. respectively), several lost balls and 11 dejected fielders, Simba declared.

If that was their batting, what is their bowling going to be like? That was certainly my question. Unfortunately we didn't conclusively find out, with Simba feeling sorry for us and only unleashing a quick bowler for the last over, when they required one wicket to win (courtesy of regular and silly wickets being given away throughout the innings). Fortunately with the defensive stallion of Pete Swain at the helm, standing between Simba and the glory of ending Elthams unbeaten run. The Tasmanator, now known as the Defensemanator left every ball not on the stumps, and played a defensive shot on the straight one, resisting the temptation to play his famous defensive sweep for four off of a ball on middle stump... which had been seen at least once during his current innings.

Highlight of the game: The Coach emulating Lloyd and asking for middle and leg whilst standing half way down the wicket.

Point of note: it was noted that Tan, in a bid to preserve his superb bowling stats was unavailable to play this game. Did the smiling assassin know something the rest of us didn't?

Your faithful correspondent,

Splinters Bisley