Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Horton Kirby CC

Our original opponents for this game, Greenheath, had to pull out due to lack of numbers, so Eltham went to Conference early in the season to see what we could find. Amazingly, Statics did not seem to be free to play us and so we had to look further afield. By Thursday we had been contacted by Horton Kirby, and all was set fair for a good game against them following our win at their place in 2008.

Well, as it turned out, the Horton Kirby Saturday XI were a wee bit stronger than their Sunday XI last year - but more of that later. By noon Eltham started to turn up for this, our first home game of the season. Keys were found behind the bar, and Derek was seen to be schmoozing with the tea lady, possibly coming to some arrangement regarding dry roasted nuts. We're not sure what he said, but the tea was a fine affair, not the bread and dripping that some had previously feared. OK, there were no quavers, but you can't have everything!

Stumps were in place, the boundary had flags, the changing rooms were open, everything was looking good. Well, they might have looked better if half the team hadn't turned up late (Asjad for once arriving early to confound his critics!). Wouldham was cajoled by Derek into parting with an unfeasibly large amount of cash as key deposits, which gave him a cold sweat the likes of which hadn't been seen since the previous season when someone had told Pete Swain to defend against Simba. On eminor inconvenience though - no Horton Kirby! they were delayed on route, and frantic phone calls were made to ensure that they hadn't gone to the Mecca of Cricket, Bexley Grammar School. All was soon well however, and the game got underway half an hour late.

"Skippy" won his second toss on the trot and decided to put Horton Kirby in, mindful of Eltham's longer-than-usual tail, and the fact that we're not sure of what a good score is on the main pitch at Footscray. Well, we soon found out! Tanveer and Richard opened proceedings and both bowled well, with Richard finding a better length this week and bowling with a bit of pace. However, there was not a lot of early luck, with only a couple of half-chances and more than 50 on the board, with the ball racing to boundary if it pierced the infield. Tanveer was finding a nice rhythm however and soon found himself with a 3 wickets, bowling each of Horton Kirby's top three with lovely deliveries. Tan finished his spell with 3-24, an impressive return given the amount of runs that were to be taken off most of the Eltham bowlers. Richard ended wicketless but this masks a nice spell of bowling.

Having toiled for an hour in the nets on the previous evening, it was only right that Ricky "Not Richard" Webber came on first change. Ricky soon found his length and line but the pitch was unresponsive and allowed the batsmen to simply hit through the line with impunity. No wickets on this occasion but Eltham watchers will now that Ricky has improved markedly as a bowler and his time will surely come this season. A double change had brough David Jones on from the "Sidcup" end, with Eltham's senior player determined to bowl what has become known as a "pensioner pearl" - to no avail on this occasion. A hard chance was spilled by Wouldham at midwicket, who was beginning to have a mare!

Despite Tan's three early wickets, a sizeable partnership had built up and so Skippy turned to Wouldham to try to break it. However, this was not to be Colin's finest hour (or half-an-hour!), as he got smacked around the park. The Horton Kirby batsmen were good enough to keep avoiding the two fielders at deep mid-on and deep mid-off - Matt and Richard trying to perform heroics with the ball going past them at a rate of knots. Conceding 57 runs from 6 overs, Wouldham looked forward to the tea break! By this time, Del had also been brought on with his leg-spin, and despite going for a few runs, at least had the pleasure of seeing the big-hitting Chambers holing out to Pete Swain in the deep - the first recorded case of an Eltham player maing a catch with his "moobs"! Buoyed by this, Swain replaced Derek and immediately caused problems for the batsmen, chipping in with three late wickets, all bowled. Should have come on earlier, Pete! A late run-out saw Horton Kirby finish on a huge 248 from only 40 overs, a big chase for Eltham but within reach.

Tea (produced for us by the tea-lady at Footscray) was then taken, and to everyone's delight was far from the poor offering we had been expecting. There was plenty for everyone - including Matt Bevan who had been informed that we would be taking tea late and so arrived for the leftovers, much to his annoyance!) In the changing room, much was made of being positive and going for the win, but something seemed to go wrong in between the changing room and the pitch since Eltham never really got out of second gear. A flurry of early wickets saw Fisher (smartly stumped), Bulpitt (yorked), Page (Caught off one that stopped on him) and Swain (Caught & Bowled) back in the hutch before 50 was on the board. With Derek at six, Asjad seemed to shut up shop with a large number of overs to go, and Eltham seemed to be playing for the draw. A 50 partnership went a long way to securing the drawn result, but some spectators were wondering whether we should have carried on trying to win for a bit longer than we did, since Asjad was still there. It could well have been that Eltham's longer-than-usual tail was the deciding factor here, added to the fact that the big hitters had come and gone.

Derek was then also the victim of a ball stopping on him a bit, and he was dismissed with a simple caught & bowled. Wouldham came in and looked comfortable but unhurried, with Horton Kirby trying a mesmerising array of different bowlers to try to force the issue. A late double strike by Crowley, Horton Kirby's most potent bowler (assisted by umpire Bevan who wanted to get to the japanese lager in the bar!) was too little, too late, and so the match petered out into a draw. Regrettably, Andy Redman didn't get his picture taken with Amelia The Duck, but this will be rectified at a later game for our photos page!

In the bar after the game a post-mortem was held - we should have done better and with a bit of luck early on this could have been a tighter game. However, Horton Kirby were undoubtedly the stronger team on the day, so Eltham can feel fortunate not to have been beaten.

Wouldham's day reached a new low when he got to the bar and his missus Gail informed him that he was driving home since she needed a vat of wine to dull the pain of a broken toe suffered that morning after he had left his cricket bag in the hallway! Lessons will surely be learnt there...

Next match - Petts Wood Tudor. Viva la Vida!

Reporting: Colin "Hummmmmmmmmmmmmm" Wouldham