Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Swanscombe CC

This was an excellent win for an Eltham side that included a number of our new recruits, a young and enthusiastic group of lads who acquitted themselves very well against a fairly strong Swanscombe side who had named 5 of their league team in the starting line up.

Once again the 1pm start was delayed but this did give us the opportunity to witness a number of events that could have provided a match report on their own. Matthew Horne's entrance on a penny farthing (well a bike from about the same era) that must have cost a fair few shillings, was the first highlight of the day - apparently the lock actually cost more than the bike!

The second notable arrival was Derek with his lawnmower, apparently extricated from his wife Nancy whilst she was still gardening. The aim of the lawnmower was to try and cut the pitch to identify it from the rest of the rather green square. Unfortunately attaching extension lead to extension lead to extension lead enabled the "ground staff" to reach the boundary flags but the square itself - no chance! Still, it was great to watch. Fortunately the opposition were late arriving and so didn't witness this fun! At least we had a pitch this week!

Meanwhile, back at the cricket. Skipper Swain, in post for the first time this campaign, won our first toss of the season and elected to bat. Messrs Wouldham and Killingley then proceeded to compile an excellent opening stand of 72 - John was in particularly fluent form but the pitch played a significant part in his dismissal just missing out on a well-deserved 50. Colin then continued in the same vein before he too succumbed to the vagaries of the surface, once again just before his half century. On his dismissal, as scorer, I took immediate action to avoid the potential of a thrown bat (having been in the firing line during the previous week!) On this occasion there was a more philosophical response and I was able to continue my detailed recording of events without interruption.

The word "anorak" was mentioned (on more than one occasion) in connection with the scoring but some people enjoy knowing how many balls they faced and how long it took them to score their first run and what is actually wrong with using 3 coloured pens?! (Answers on a postcard to Andy c/o Eltham CC please - Ed)

Another highlight of the day was the Horne father and son partnership - it would have been interesting to hear the conversations in the middle after Horne the younger had called Horne the elder for a couple of quick singles!

Matthew "The Biker" Horne was enjoying his stay at the wicket until a hamstring injury forced his retirement but it wasn't until he was lying on his back in considerable pain that certain colleagues took great delight in reminding him that he now had to cycle home! How cruel!

Although things were ticking along quite nicely there was a feeling on the boundary that we needed to reach about 200 and considerable pressure was exerted on the skipper to move himself up the order. We failed to mention the idea of "playing yourself in" and the ball was immediately crashed to the boundary. Derek "The Lawnmower" Seeds ("Grass" Seeds? - Ed) joined Peter in a useful cameo as the score threatened to gather momentum. The skipper then benefitted from one of worst dropped catches you are likely to see - he was actually walking off when he was alerted to what had happened and then had to rush to avoid being run out!

Unfortunately he was unable to capitalise on this stroke of luck and it wasn't long before our new recruits took centre stage. It was soon evident that "calling for runs" was not a strength and it was suggested that one or two members of the team would be having extra practice instead of tea. With "encouragement" from the sidelines matters improved and we ended on 178 - perhaps 20 runs or so below par.

For the first time this season we were actually able to "take tea" indoors and, suitably refreshed, Swanscombe began their innings in cavalier style ie running out their opener before he had actually touched the ball! An arrow like throw from Horne the elder set the tone for a very positive afternoon's fielding - probably the result of the impressive practice that took place before the start of play and a sight that might have made late comers think that they had turned up at the wrong ground!

The skipper opened the bowling with an impressive spell of aggressive fast bowling which quickly induced a nick to yours truly for the second time this season. This was followed by 3 more entries in the scorebook of "Bowled Swain" - a day to remember! 9 overs 4 for 9 - not a bad days work! All that was needed now was an Eltham win and his joy would be unbounded (or whatever the phrase is - it's been a long day at school - it's 6.15pm and I've still got a Governors meeting to attend - and I'm missing the Champion's League Final???!)

To return to the cricket; the next few overs saw a change in the bowling attack - both Webber and Wells made encouraging starts but it was fairly obvious that the middle order was packed with the league players and 178 seemed very attainable. Enter Horne the elder. After an "interesting" first over Alan rediscovered line, length and Underwood style guile and wickets started to tumble again. Ricky held on to a good catch (as the ball flew towards him his face showed sheer panic!), then the number 8 contrived to hit his wicket - well this will happen if you take your guard half way between stump and crease and then take a step back! Alan finished with 3 for 25 and a big smile on his face! So, it was left to Mr Wouldham to finish off the innings by bowling 10 and 11 and the skippers day was complete - a thoroughly professional performance!

Although not playing this week, I may still come and check up that the score is being done very neatly.

Reporting: Andy "The Pens are Mightier than the Gloves" Redman