Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Farnborough CC

Anyone not at Bexley Grammar School on Saturday to witness this match should take no notice at all of the scores above. It may appear that we were getting a good hiding and that the rain came to our rescue - but please note it was the opposition that eventually called time - for after the wicket of Wouldham they must have felt that they were into the Eltham tail. What came next though was the towering presence of the big VC; Pete Swain, who duly stepped up to the challenge of the chase ahead, dispatching his first delivery for four runs. This prompted a few looks from the fielders over to the Eltham dressing room - the sight of Messrs Page and Cohen padded up and the mere presence of Messrs Webber and Wells was just too much. They obviously realized that had they continued, then they were going to be on the wrong end of this particular result.

Skipper Bulpitt continued his fine form with the toss - losing the call - Matt; note to self stop calling heads. However he still got what he was after, as the Farnborough stand in skipper had to opt to bat as four of his team (including his skipper) were still making their way to the venue.

Swain opened the bowling from the "Slightly longer grass" end, bowling toward the school. This was the end from which he had so much success only the week before, however the early overs in his first spell returned no wickets. What he did achieve though was to soften up the opening batsmen for his fellow opening bowler Wouldham by enacting revenge on the "Poms" for the 1932-33 Ashes (Jardine Bodyline) series.

Wouldham was quick to see the panic in the Farnborough Openers' eyes and pounced like a hungry wolf, taking the first wicket which sparked an early mini collapse. In his first spell Wouldham returned with 3 wickets and a catch worthy of notice. Swain was coming to the end of his first spell and seemed to be tiring, he delivered a shorter delivery which the batsmen cut away with aplomb only to look back and see Wouldham rise like a salmon diving to his right to collect what could well be catch of the season.

The usually sound fielding abilities of Eltham were lacking with a couple of catches being dropped - notably the skipper who clearly had his mind elsewhere - "should I call heads or tails next time?"

The consistently inconsistent Page replaced Swain at the "Slightly longer grass" end. His spell returned little success, but did highlight wicketkeeper Cohen's vocals, for in a couple of LBW shouts it became apparent that should Eltham CC have a Karaoke evening, Mick should do a rendition of Rod Stewart's Maggie May.

Webber and Wells both had good tight spells with the ball following Wouldham from the School end, as did Collins from the "Slightly longer grass" end. Wells was leading the way in the field, showing how it should be done - taking an almighty thud to his chest from the ball whilst fielding at cover, only to stand up, puff his chest out and act like Bruce Willis - what a man!

This clearly rejuvenated the Eltham fielders as a short time later Page was found doing his own version of Bambi on ice, fielding an awkward ball on the boundary, playing keepie uppies with his trusty left foot - eat your heart out Ryan Giggs.

Swain returned for a couple more overs from the same end as his previous spell, it wielded two more wickets. Wouldham replaced him later on to take his fourth wicket, whilst Skipper Bulpitt finished off from the School end. Bulpitt's short two over spell returned two wickets and the final runs of the Farnborough innings as they declared on 172 for 9. Wouldham clearly disappointed not to have one final over to try and take his fifth wicket of the innings.

On to tea - Derek provided the mid innings feast whilst Collins provided updates on England's score against the West Indies. Wouldham seemed disappointed by the lack of crusts on the sandwiches - possibly concerned for the youngsters in the Eltham team and the possibility of growing older with no chest hair.

Fisher and Bulpitt opened the Eltham innings. Fisher faced five balls of the first over before stealing a single. On the sixth ball (Bulpitt's first) Eltham lost their first wicket. An LBW appeal which left umpire Swain with no choice but to raise the finger in a slow sad way a la Rudi Koertzen. This prompted a stare of disbelief from the skipper.

Number three batsman Collins strutted in like a man on a mission; he was soon strutting back to the pavilion after spooning one to mid off without troubling the scorers. Horne eventually arrived at the crease with his runner. After pulling a muscle in his leg whilst fielding, the prospect of running whilst batting as well as having to ride home on his antique of a bike was just too much. A runner was called upon to assist. This promised to cause chaos out in the middle with people in white running around in all directions. It was starting to remind me of the film One flew over the Cuckoos Nest. Unfortunately it wasn't long before the entertainment was over. An absolute peach of a delivery clean bowled Horne. It appeared that the impending rain was bringing out the ducks!

Seeds made his way to the crease took his guard and saw out the remainder of the over.

In the next over Fisher fell. The bowler dug one in short, Fisher read it well and got on the back foot ready for a big pull shot, only to see the ball fail to get above a foot from the ground and shoot through to hit his wickets. The prize wicket of Eltham's very own Geoff Boycott was Farnborough's.

This sparked celebration amongst the Farnborough fielders. They seemed to think that they had already won. What they hadn't banked on was the resilience and brilliance of Eltham's very own Tango and Cash - aka Seeds and Wouldham. The duo set about regaining the upper hand through a series of drives, cuts, placed edges and forward defensives. The rain arrived, Farnborough could see the game slipping from their grasp, they sought a draw, but neither batsman was in the mood for charity at this stage.

After a 50 run partnership Wouldham was caught at cover. Swain marched to the crease; he had been doing his calculations and was well aware that 5 dot balls and a six each over would see Eltham to victory.

Unfortunately the rain continued to fall, the pitch continued to take a battering and the decision to call the match drawn was an easy one for Farnborough.

Reporting: Richard "Bambi" Page