Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Dartfordians CC

Another new opposition this week for Eltham, and so clearly the first thought on the minds of many was "Where is the ground then?" You can tell that Ricky Webber is a relatively new member of the Club because he took advice from Colin Wouldham, known for his many navigational indiscretions at away games, on this very question. Regular readers of the website will not be surprised to learn that as a result, Ricky was the last Eltham player to arrive at the ground.

The opposition were looking particularly relaxed prior to the start of the game, lounging about outside the Clubhouse wearing some rather natty Club shirts and generally looking somewhat younger than those Eltham players present (ie those who had not been given directions by Wouldham.) Maybe they had heard about our recent collapses, maybe they had heard that George "The" Power was no longer playing for Eltham - or maybe they didn't realise that there was a cricket game in the offing. Whatever it was, it was clearly good for stress levels.

To the game itself, which to skipper Bulpitt's dismay was a 40 over match requiring at least five bowlers to bowl a maximum of eight overs . A quick count of recognised Eltham bowlers had Matt reaching for the aspirins - but he hadn't counted Ricky and Pete Fisher, who were to turn the game on its head later on in the innings.

Pete Swain, who had narrowly missed shoulder-barging Tonker Thompson onto a live rail at London Bridge midweek in a revenge attack for his elbow injury in the previous match, opened the bowling and soon found his line and length. Pete bowled a tight five over spell (for only 5 runs) and kept the Dartfordians openers relatively quiet, which was just as well since Wouldham was leaking runs at the other end until he found the right length to bowl on the very slow wicket. With no joy in the first 10 overs, Bulpitt replaced Swain from the "A2" end and served up a bewildering variety of deliveries which soon confused a Dartfordians opener so much that he spooned the ball towards mid-off, where John Fisher took a tricky catch over his shoulder (only a minor juggle was employed, for the purposes of entertaining the spectators.)

At 70-1 from around 14 overs, a large score beckoned, but a very sharp bit of fielding from John Killingley soon got rid of the other opener, with a direct hit from mid-on to run him out by a couple of yards. This seemed to put the brakes on Dartfordians, and the scoring rate suddenly dropped dramatically. With Alan Horne now operating from the "Bexley Village" end, taking the pace off the ball and flighting it up beautifully, runs were increasingly hard to come by, and frustration appeared to set in amongst the Dartfordians batsmen. Alan bowled the number 3 and suggested that to keep the score down, it would be wise not to bowl out the number 4, who was looking somewhat less than confident! Alan's figures of 8-2-19-1 tell their own story of how tightly he bowled in this game.

Meanwhile, Ricky Webber had replaced the Skipper at the other end and was also proving difficult to score off. A couple of bad balls went for boundaries, but the pressure was mounting to score runs more quickly. Pete Fisher then came on for Horne, with his tricky leg-spinners replacing Alan's off-breaks, and between them, Ricky and Peter quickly destroyed what remained of the Dartfordians middle-order. Two wickets in Pete's first over were enough to persuade the Skipper to keep him on for a second over (he was only supposed to be bowling for an over because Matt had mucked up his bowler allocations!) and a third wicket soon followed for the wily campaigner. Ricky continued his excellent spell, bowling out Bardon to finish on 2-25, his best return yet - plenty more to come, Ricky!

To assert his authority (!) Matt then took Pete off to allow Swain to "finish them off" - but a few wild swings connected and Pete claimed his figures had been ruined. Aussies clearly have higher standards than the Poms, since 7 overs for 15 runs still doesn't sound too shabby to me!

Dartfordians managed to finish their 40 overs, posting a score of 136-9. An excellent fielding display in the early overs had created pressure to score, which in turn had helped Pete and Ricky to induce the batsmen to attack them. As Mr Benaud (the king of commentators) would say, excellent cricket there.

After a tea involving copious amounts of jelly, the Eltham reply was a display of contrasting batting techniques and styles. JK was unlucky to pull a ball that jumped on him straight to square leg for a duck, but this brought in Pete Swain who was eager to show that his elbow injury didn't stop him leathering the ball to all parts. One particular six landed in a garage way out in the outfield, very near the A2! I think we can say after this innings that Pete's elbow may be black and blue, but it still seems to be working. His 48 came in quick time and included 4 sixes. He was eventually out caught on the boundary in swaggering fashion by an opposition fielder wearing rather nifty matching Woodworm kit. Certainly not a case of "All the gear, no idea!", although Mick Cohen did suggest another phrase starting with "All the kit, full of..." Since this is a family website we'll say no more!

By this stage Pete Fisher had been deceived by the pitch to get caught out, bringing Wouldham to the crease to slow things down a bit. Content to let the big hitters get on with it, Colin batoned down the hatches and allowed Andy Redman to test his assortment of pens to see which could produce the best dots. This didn't seem to matter with Skipper Bulpitt emulating Swain by hitting some more big sixes, but a freak dismissal was soon to give Eltham a few palpitations. Bulpitt aimed a big shot at a ball from the medium pacer Bygrave only to connect with air, the ball going through to the keeper. Not content with this outcome, Matt replayed his shot, but sadly as he did this the wicketkeeper shied at the stumps. As the ball dislodged the bails, Matt was still looking admiringly skywards at the imaginary ball sailing towards the boundary, unaware that he was around a foot outside his crease. Bugger.

A mini-collapse followed Matt's departure, with the normally reliable Derek playing back to a ball that followed and running out of room to play the ball properly, ending up comprehensively bowled for a golden. John Fisher then looked solid for a few balls before playing just inside one that came back in after passing his bat, leaving Eltham on 126-6. However, thanks to the earlier big-hitting, there was no hurry to get the final 10 runs required for victory, and with Wouldham shoring up one end it was left to Ricky Webber to hit the winning runs with a lovely four over the top of extra cover. A four-wicket win was sealed, and all that remained was for Wouldham's boxer shorts to go missing from the changing rooms.

There are some sick people about! Those boxer shorts had only just passed the "ceiling test" that morning, and whoever took them would surely have been regretting it shortly afterwards.

Reporting: Colin "Going Commando" Wouldham