Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs LESSA Aquila CC

Eltham prepared for Sunday's game with LESSA Aquila like a professional sporting outfit. Friday evening saw a quick net session, final tactics discussed and more importantly a skin-full of beer for the skipper and his "mini-me" - Willy Bisley (aka Splinters). Typically, Tan turned up late for the nets sporting full whites, only to arrive in the middle of a tropical storm that brought a premature end to the session.

Saturday was a rest day ahead of the big match.

All the players selected for Sunday's game were aware that our season was going through a bit of a slump - two games without a victory. The Eltham CC juggernaut was beginning to show signs of frailty, so a win was essential. With this in mind the Coach went all out to ensure pure relaxation ahead of the big game. Saturday morning saw him enjoying a spot of gardening before heading off to Orpington golf centre for a few holes with Page and "Mini-me" Bisley.

As far as the Coach was concerned the preparations couldn't have gone better, he beat Bisley at golf and ended with a birdie!! No, not the barmaid in the 19th hole - but a two at the par three last.

However there was still one thing playing on the coach's mind - well two. We had changed the home ground for Sunday's match and brought the start time forward to 1pm. Would all players be ready for the start?

At this point it is worth pointing out that last week we saw Asjad turn up not only on time but ahead of anyone else for the fixture. What he doesn't know was that the Coach approached his wife during the week leading up to the game and had her slip some laxatives into his cup of cocoa before he went to bed. Needless to say this meant that he literally s**t the bed and had no option but to turn up on time. Tan - beware!!!

Match day arrived, players were busy Sunday morning, some were arranging their Kit, some gardening, others spending a bit of time with the missus. Mr Swain was busy escorting the kids to their Sunday morning sports clubs whilst his better half Linda was running around Blackheath common doing her bit towards a very worthwhile cause - congratulations Linda from all at the cricket club on completing the race for life. Asjad spent most of the morning on the pan, whilst ominously Tan was escorting his missus shopping (a recipe for disaster if ever there was one - Ed)

• 12:20 - players started arriving at the ground.
• 12:30 - players still arriving
• 12:40 - we were informed that half the opposition had elected to play the match at Bexley Grammar School, but were on their way back. (10 players from Eltham CC were now waiting - no Tan.
• 12:50 - Opposition arrived - 21 players ready to start - no Tan
• 13:00 - Play due to commence, lack of Tan delayed start.

Matt chose to go out and toss up. Quite amazingly Matt felt it wise to let us know what he was going to do should he win the toss. This was a strange decision for a number of reasons. Firstly, it was pointless wasting his breath as he doesn't win Tosses. Secondly, it meant that by telling us that he was going to choose to bat, when he came back and informed us we were fielding he was unable to lie and had to admit that once again he had lost the Toss.

• 13:20 - Eltham CC take to the field - no Tan

With our opening bowler stuck in traffic the duty to take the new ball fell to Pete Swain and Rikki Webber. Both bowled superbly - Pete bowling with a great deal of pace and causing a fair bit of unrest to the opening batsmen. At the other end Rikki was putting each ball on the spot whilst mixing up the flight of the ball to keep the openers on the back foot. Although both finished wicketless it is fair to say that they set the tone for the innings as after they finished their spells Lessa were going at only two an over and were chasing runs, meaning that they would be forced to go after the change bowlers.

During the opening spells Tan arrived. This proved to be a master stroke, as I doubt many teams we play can boast a first change bowler quite as good as Tan. No sooner had the Lessa batsmen seen off Pete and Rikki and were thinking that they could go after a few runs, they were now faced with Tan charging in at them.

At the other end Colin was brought on to turn his arm and flex his wrist muscles to bowl a few leggies. Colin and Tan bowled beautifully in tandem to not only further restrict the flow of runs but to start making in-roads into the Lessa batting order. Tan finished with three wickets and Colin two. All of which were clearly the products of them out-thinking the batsmen. Both are now on 19 wickets and racing to be the first to the twenty wicket mark - good luck gents.

The skipper replaced Tan at one end, whilst Asjad followed Colin. Matt bowled well without reward, whilst Asjad used the opportunity to try out his new ball - the "Barnes Wallace." This ball is based on the bouncing bomb theory, where it takes a number of contacts with the surface before making impact with the target. After a couple of the well disguised BWs Asjad was still without reward so elected to soften one batsman up with an in-swinging beamer. This did the trick as shortly after Asjad clean bowled the same batsmen who trundled off looking decidedly unhappy. Asjad took one more wicket before being replaced by the Coach. He may have had three wickets had he not bowled a no-ball - oh and if "Mini me" Bisley had chosen to take the catch.

The Coach was quickly into his stride, beating the bat with some wickedly turning leggies. One batsman decided to go after him. The Coach noted this and threw one up for him to have a go at, the batsmen skied the shot, screams of catch rang out until we saw "mini-me" was underneath it. At this point the scream changed to Bowler's end!!! However, "Mini-me" took a great catch and the LESSA danger man was walking off. Only a few balls later the Coach wrapped the innings up with another well flighted ball, beating the bat, allowing keeper Mick Cohen to move quickly to remove the bails for and excellent stumping. LESSA made 126, Eltham required 127 to win - straight forward, right?

After tea, Asjad and "Mini-me" opened up the Eltham innings looking to get us off to a good start. We were desperate to get the juggernaut back on track with a thumping win; we had worked hard in the field to set up a real chance, now we just had to see it through with the bat.

Both openers started brightly against a decent LESSA attack. Splinters (nickname now changed as we were batting - more apt) played the holding role whilst Asjad typically went after the runs. The tactics worked a treat and both were complimenting each other well. However, shortly after hitting a huge six Asjad was clean bowled trying to repeat the feat. His wicket was harsh as he was batting brilliantly and it was looking as if the two openers may knock all the runs off themselves.

The Skipper marched out to the middle and carried on from where Asjad had left off promptly dispatching the ball for four. However, he was soon on the way back to the pavilion after being caught out trying to repeat the shot to a ball which kept low.

Richard was next in having being promoted up the order to number four. He set about trying to get to grips with the LESSA attack. Eventually the opening bowlers were seen off, having come close to exhaustion (surely the result of run ups that Paula Radcliffe would have been put off by). As soon as one of the openers had called for the oxygen tank, Page and Splinters were dreaming of a big fat spinner to come on and dolly 'em up. What they got was another quick bowler coming in off a marathon of a run up.

Just as the two batsmen were starting to settle and look comfortable disaster struck. There was a mix up out in the middle. Splinters thought he heard Page call for a second run, which was in fact a fielder shouting for the ball. Splinters raced back to try and make his ground up, but narrowly failed to do so. The LESSA fielders were suddenly buoyant, Eltham still requiring over 50 runs to win and now three key wickets down.

Those three wickets soon became four as Wouldham holed out to a smartly taken catch at gully. If the LESSA players were buoyant after three wickets, they were now flying like the fella off the Red Bull advert. They really felt that they had a good chance to grab back the initiative.

Pete Swain came marching to the crease. After a couple of steady overs with the run rate ticking along and the two batsmen gaining in confidence, Pete decided enough was enough. A LESSA bowling change brought about a change in approach from the V.C who hit 18 runs from the over. This left just 3 runs to win, which Page hit in the next over.

Victory was Eltham's - in the end convincing. The Eltham CC juggernaut is back on track, bring on Pilotonians next week...

Reporting: Richard Page