Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Sidcup CC

After missing out the previous week on an inaugural 20/20 competition, the team returned to a traditional fixture at Sidcup, home of many close battles over the years and a last ball thriller in 2007.

The team assembled at the ground in the normal manner with Tanveer last to arrive and to great amusement, Will 'Sat Nav' Bisley phoning The Coach for directions from the other side of the clubhouse. Will is accumulating nicknames almost as quick as runs this season.

Without skipper Bulpitt and Wouldham, who between them took all the wickets 2 weeks before, it was concluded in the dressing room that Eltham would field first in case they were unable to dismiss the opposition. This of course assumed winning the toss. Clearly VC has had to assume responsibility too often this year and has picked up the skipper's curse of calling incorrectly, so into bat we went.

Bisley and Mir opened at a frenetic pace, helped by a flurry of boundaries and generous extras tally, before Asjad was sharply caught at slip. Mir's 16 comprised only of boundaries as he looked to conserve energy, perhaps remembering a collapse in the field around this time last season. Fisher junior (this may soon need to be 'medium' if 3 generations take to the field) joined Bisley, and another fine partnership ensued with both batters scoring freely. This allowed time on the boundary for a full review of the watermarked scorebook by master scorers Andy 'Pens' Redman and Carol 'Pencils' Bisley. Even the missus is now getting in on the nicknames. Many suggestions, some helpful, some not so, and others just downright ridiculous, were put forward for ways Colin could repair the situation, and no doubt Pens and Pencils will be speaking with Mr Wouldham further.

'Danger Mouse' (thanks must go to Sidcup's report) Bisley moved on to a well deserved 51 (arguably more deserved than photographic evidence suggested from his limbo demonstration the previous match) before holing out to a juggled catch at cover. Swain made an all too customary brief visit, falling to an excellent catch on the deep square boundary. Fisher senior joined his son, and helped Pete celebrate yet another fine half century before he tried to out hit VC and fell in the same manner. Pete Fisher has certainly had an incredibly consistent season with the bat. Page strode to the wicket, and the score was ticking along nicely until John was aggrieved by a controversial stumping decision, bringing Khassif to the crease.

Page was looking confident, and with good reason, as he moved to an effortless 42 from only 23 balls, including 1 over of 3 consecutive sixes and a four, leaving the tennis spectators forming a fielding wall beside the scoreboard, the loss adjustors inspecting roof tiles on the clubhouse, and a bowler perhaps unhappy with his father for dropping a relatively straight forward catch the previous over. The time was verified, and it seemed as if Page would finally reach the elusive 50, but alas with a rush of blood he skied one to point where he was confidently caught by Jerome junior, the bowler he had dispatched to all areas. Justice was done!

Khassif fell to the very next ball in a virtual action replay of Page's dismissal, except that his shot went past Jupiter instead of Mars. This through up another quandary as it was the last ball of the over, and Eltham would have declared, but felt it fair to allow the young bowler a chance of his hat trick. Seeds and Redman made the most of a brief bat, both scoring fine boundaries before Redman was caught and bowled on the final ball. Yet another not out for the defiant Seeds! Jones at least got to try the pads on, but Tanveer was so confident in his team not falling to 9 wickets that he only changed at tea.

A fine Eltham innings concluded at 225 for 8. McCawley finished the pick of the young Sidcup bowlers with 4 for 43, although it was a good all round bowling performance.

An excellent tea was enjoyed, and with an unusually poor attendance of Eltham WAGs and kids, there seemed to be plenty left. Coach Seeds almost found himself in the firing line of a poorly aimed ketchup bottle, and quickly repositioned the other weapons, namely mustard and mayonnaise, from danger.

Eltham took to the field, with Tanveer and Khassif opening the bowling. Bowling plans were unfortunately soon revised however, as Kassif broke down with an injured knee after just 2 balls forcing Swain to bowl earlier than expected. Sidcup were making a steady start finding it difficult to score freely, while Eltham were unable to find a breakthrough. Tanveer was bowling in his normal economic manner and finally managed to make a breakthrough with Crust caught at mid off by Mir.

Spin was introduced in the twelfth over with Jones providing a good spell which was unlucky not to yield more than the wicket of McCawley senior, produced by a well held catch in the deep from Pete Fisher. An unnecessarily reluctant Page took over from Tanveer, and produced a fine spell of fast bowling to prove that he really must bowl more again next season. Page dislodged the middle stump of Hewlens to maintain hope of victory.

The overs were ebbing away and a draw was looking increasingly likely, until Derek 'Shane' Seeds replaced Jones from the eastern end and treated us to a display of leg spin not seen on these shores since 2005. Seeds took 3 wickets, the best of which was the bowling of Stent senior prompting skipping celebrations more akin to Panesar than Warne. Seeds also took the wickets of Jerome senior and junior to make it a family affair, the latter to a good catch by Bisley at mid wicket. Mir replaced Page from the western end, and immediately following his request to remove the slip fielder managed to lure the batsman into an edge which first slip would have swallowed. As Mir and VC were debating the wisdom of this move, the batsmen took a suicidal second run and the fine arm of Page left Laing short of safety.

Pete Fisher was finally let off his leash and allowed to bowl the final over at his previous pupil. This showdown could have gone either way, but bragging rights must remain with the old master as Crouch looked to the heavens only to hear the fateful sound of leather hitting wood, but not of the willow species. Now some would not describe Pete's bowling as dangerous, but keeper Redman may be looking to revise this as the ball looped up from the bails and left him once again bloodied and dazed. There must be something about this time of year as similar events occurred at Prospect Park last September, albeit with the bat. It is pleasing to report that Andy was ok, despite having to spend the week with a pair of shiners looking like he had been in the boxing ring rather than playing cricket.

Pete's over, and the match, concluded with Stent junior seemingly desperate to face and refusing an easy second run only to pull the ball fiercely and be caught by a remarkable one handed catch by Jones at square leg.

The match was a good contest, and although Eltham had the upper hand, was perhaps not as close to victory as the final scoreboard may suggest. Even after his injury, Redman was still able to tell VC 'I told you to bring Pete on earlier'. This advice was parked with other 'I told you so's' from Linda. Why is it that Teachers always think they know best?

Reporting Peter (a drink with the oppo skipper is worth 50 runs) Swain