Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Old Pilotonians CC

As the players and their families assembled there was a sense of excitement in the air, a feeling that all was well with the world ..... or was this just those of us from the teaching profession who had just broken up for the holidays?

First impressions of the playing area suggested that hitting a four might prove challenging as the outfield looked decidedly like a meadow ~ the square itself was in remarkably good condition considering the serious amount of rain that had fallen in the previous 48 hours. This was confirmed by the groundsman in a rather lengthy conversation with myself and Mr Fisher and, which I have to admit, I did leave half way through!

I then managed to upset the young lady when trying to collect the dressing room key by failing to see her sitting behind the bar .... I think I was forgiven later but I?m not totally convinced.

By this time the skipper had arrived... minus the usual Shane Warne T shirt (now why would that be?) and he declared himself ready for an afternoon of hilarious Pommie humour. He was not disappointed .... and neither were we by the close of play at Lords.

Having lost the toss, Eltham were asked to bat and Messrs Mir and Killingley strode to the crease. Asjad is in a rich vein of form and it was clear from the word go, that this run was to continue; he really does dominate the bowling from the first ball and it was a joy to watch his aggressive stroke play. JK, himself a technically correct and stylish bat, had been looking forward to his first game for quite some time; unfortunately it was not to be his day and Amelia came calling ~ as Asjad continued towards a very fine 71, JK sat on the boundary edge cuddling the duck and commenting that Amelia was the only one who cared about him!

Matt Bulpitt joined Asjad at the crease and also took a liking to the bowling on offer and both players obviously enjoyed batting together as they put on 110 runs. Matt was closing in on a well deserved 50 when he paddled the ball and gave the keeper a diving leg side catch ~ despite being out on 49 he was relaxed and philosophical about missing out on a half century (a sign perhaps that he was already in holiday mode ~ as chilled as the Kronenburg he would be drinking later in the week in France!)

Just one other comment to make about Asjad?s innings ~ at one point we were aware of a signal he was making..... did he want a drink, new gloves, the physio? We couldn?t work it out until we realised he wanted... someone to take photos of him batting!

Despite the cricket being enjoyable viewing, one of our gathering decided it was an appropriate time to assemble his son?s new bike. Mr Colin 'I don't need instructions, I'm a man' Wouldham showed remarkable feats of engineering ... although his initial sense of achievement may have been slightly diminished as I understand that, a little later, there was a slight problem with the handlebars. I am sure that he will be able to edit and elaborate on this episode.

It was also about this time that Tan arrived .....not unusual I hear you say but, on this occasion, he was merely a spectator. In fact a spectator actively involved with 'In-Law Avoidance' and sporting a smart new hair cut ~ designed to deflect from the fact that he had popped down to watch a bit of cricket!

Meanwhile, back at the cricket, Mr Page continued the assault on the Pilots? attack joined first by Kash and then by Pete Fisher who was looking in great form until he was the victim of an unfortunate run out whilst backing up as the ball ricocheted off the bowler?s foot on to his stumps. This brought the skipper to the middle and, with two of our most destructive batsmen at the crease, the runs continued to flow as 6s and 4s were dispatched to all parts of the Footscray ground. One particular stroke does stick in the mind ~ a cross bat/baseball style 6 from the skipper which The Fish declared to be a ?horrible shot? and requested that he only be given 1 for it!

As Richard also closed in on a 50, there was consternation on the boundary that Pete may not know the scores and make a declaration thus leaving Mr Page stranded. A plan was hatched and Gary ?The Physio? Bill ran out to the middle with new gloves for the skipper (what?s good enough for England) and briefed him on the situation. All well and good until this disturbed Richard?s concentration and he was immediately out! This was all done with the very best of intentions but sometimes the best laid plans just don?t work out. Ho hum!

Fresh from his bike building exploits, Mr Wouldham then attempted to wrestle Ameila from JK ~ much to his relief a fairly straightforward catch was dropped and Colin avoided joining the elite group of players who have succumbed with no score. A fairly substantial score was now looking probable and despite the skipper falling with about 10 minutes of the innings left the next in the line of eminent number nines helped Colin to reach a challenging total of 258.

Old Pilots began their innings intent on chasing down this score but with very few runs on the board Kash got a good length ball to cut back and the batsman was judged LBW. Kash continued a fine spell of fast bowling with Richard taking a good catch to dismiss the number 4 (whose name changed several times during the game!) At this point Mr Wouldham was heard to add to the list of puns associated with Kash, noting that he was now bowling like a machine (not to be outdone, The Fish commented that this had taken time to register). Enough!

The strong wind was making bowling difficult from the other end but the skipper was unlucky to have a number of inside edges which just missed the stumps. Ricky settled in to a good line and length from the same end and was rewarded by another excellent catch from the skipper. With wickets falling around him, Farid showed again what a class act he can be whilst, at the same time, playing the game in an excellent spirit.

Cheney arrived at the crease sporting an unusual choice of attire but was soon on his way back to the pavilion after an excellent run out from Mr Bulpitt (I will refrain from commenting on my involvement!) Matt was involved again taking a superb catch on the boundary to end a valuable knock of 80 from Farid off the bowling of Gary Bill who then took his second wicket and a second catch for Mr Swain who seems to have the skipper?s knack of placing himself in the most appropriate places in the field.

Whilst Doughty remained at the crease the target of 258 seemed very attainable and as he reached 70 in little or no time something special was called for. Bring on Bulpitt! Having finally caught the skipper?s attention Matt completed a fine afternoon in the field by taking the wicket that effectively ended the possibility of a Pilot?s victory. The ball only just clipped the bail and certainly didn?t touch the stumps but that was enough.

Now only time would tell whether we could dislodge the tail ~ another run out (this time a partnership between JK and the mechanic) removed Bevis and the latter then bowled Ring as he induced a wild stroke playing across the line ( a shot I know only too well!)

With the final 2 batsmen at the crease and 4 overs still to be bowled, the victory was a distinct possibility and the field came in very close. This provoked Hatzidakis to suggest we didn?t get too close to the number 11 as he had swine flu! This was one of his more amusing lines.

Despite the best attempts of all concerned, the final wicket was not to be as the rain fell and the pitch slowed down. It was, however, a most enjoyable game and, as noted above, played in the very best of spirits as is always the case with our Pilotonian friends.

It was very pleasing to note the commitment and effort displayed in the field ~ there were long periods of time when real pressure was exerted on batsmen by aggressive fielding. Although a few catches went down, most were genuinely difficult chances which players had done well to reach in the first place ~ Colin?s full length dive being one example. In hindsight, perhaps we were a little harsh on Ricky .... as he lay stricken on the floor after being hit on the ankle, it may not have been that helpful for us all to be yelling at him to throw the ball to the bowler?s end.

Another fine example of 'taking it for the team' is Matt Bulpitt who will now be sporting a third nipple on the beaches of France... what a fine figure of a man!

And so dear friends, I must now sign off and start packing my case for a holiday in Greece. I will, of course, be taking my Eltham CC shirt to wear on the beach just in case there is a chance of a game. See you all again on 8 August.