Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Farnborough CC

All was well with the world. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, an afternoon's cricket lay ahead of us..... and the school holidays had started.(I suspect my match report at this time of last season started in much the same way .... but who cares.)

Arriving at noon, I was greeted by the sight of a football match taking place on the hallowed turf of Footscray RFC..... spectators almost sitting on the wicket and the whole area strewn with litter. Messrs Page, Bevan and I watched in disbelief as the game ended and the players left the field of play..... with goal posts, flags and aforementioned rubbish behind them. What to do? I, as is my habit, reverted to Victor Meldrew mode and grumbled. Mr Bevan threatened to seriously bend their goalposts while Mr Page remained the voice of common sense and rightly suggested that we wait for Derek to arrive and let him sort it out.

On cue, the coach arrived, and within minutes the matter was resolved. Derek was then seen taking photographs on his phone of the offending posts just in case evidence was needed at a later date. Don't ask.

Enough of this preamble... down to business. In an attempt to reverse our fortunes, the skipper wisely intended to bat first. The Farnborough skipper hadn't read the script, won the toss and elected to bat himself.

As ever, Khurram opened the attack... an appropriate word if ever I heard one. The first ball almost yorked the opener, the second took out his off stump. This was greeted with ferocious celebrations and the most aggressive high fives that I have ever experienced as my hands were almost bent double.

Opening at the other end it was a pleasure to welcome back Ray Scriven who immediately settled in to an accurate and containing spell of bowling. This fine start was backed up by some lively fielding as Eltham players looked keen to put the disappointments of the last two weeks behind them. This was exemplified by Monica Bulpitt whose arrow like throw forced an excellent run out.

At this point we ought to congratulate Mr and Mrs Bulpitt on the occasion of their 17th Wedding Anniversary.One can only marvel at Matt's gesture of taking his wife out for a romantic day of watching him play cricket and looking after the children.

The accuracy of the opening spell of bowling restricted scoring opportunities but with the potentially dangerous Fraser still at the crease, a breakthrough was needed. Khurram felt he might have had an LBW decision given in his favour... but he hardly let his feelings show when this was rejected. Wisely, the umpire later upheld a similar appeal as Garret was dismissed for 12. This wicket prolonged Khurram's spell for another over at which point the ball was prised from his hands. Enter Mr Wouldham.

As noted above, the prized wicket of Fraser was required and he was immediately baffled by Colin's leg spin and the ball despatched into the normally safe hands of Mr Page. On this occasion it was not to be and the ball went to ground and we were left to wonder whether we would regret this opportunity to send the batsman on his way.

By this time, the skipper was bowling a tidy line and length at the other end and he produced an unplaybable delivery that seamed in to answer our question. Cue wild celebrations..... mainly, it must be said, from Richard.

Colin continued to torment the Farnborough batsmen but a vociferous appeal for an LBW earned him (and the keeper) a rebuke from the umpire who noted that apart from the fact that the ball pitched outside leg stump and hit the pad outside leg stump it was a very good appeal. Not too much later in the game, Colin was to have his revenge. An appeal for LBW from the coach was given out despite the fact that the batsman had clearly hit the ball.In true Eltham spirit he was called back to the crease and a voice from mid on was heard to say..... apart from the fact that he hit the ball, that was a very good LBW decision umpire. Deuce.

Wickets continued to fall and Khurram held on to a good catch from Colin's bowling prompting Mr Bulpitt to remark to Mr Page that this was how it should be done. Harsh. The skipper then held on to another skier having made up a considerable amount of ground before grasping the ball between hands and stomach. Pete added another LBW to his tally for the season and Colin held on to a very good caught and bowled chance and succeeded in grazing his knee. Bless him.

Probably the best catch of the afternoon was held by the keeper (only jesting) off the bowling of the coach who, once again, came on to finish off the tail with 2 overs, 2 wickets and 2 runs. This prompted a certain opening fast bowler to question the fairness of it all. An interesting aside is that Derek starts his next game on a hatrick. The last wicket again caused the umpire (yes the same one again)a few problems. He was still signalling four runs as the batsman was making his way off the pitch having trodden on his wicket.

And so to tea with 111 runs needed to win. We, of course, were under no illusions about the task ahead of us following the batting collapses of the past 2 weeks. On arrival at the changing rooms we were delighted to see the valuables bag still in its place where it had been kindly left to assist any potential thief and avoid the need to waste time and effort in ransacking individual bags. Mmmm.

A steady and solid opening partnership was called for and this was what we got. Peter, in particular,was in imperious form as he set out to score the 38 (or so we thought) runs needed for his 10 000 for the club. All was going well, and the chances of me arriving on time for a dinner engagement increasing with every minute, until Asjad was adjudged to be LBW and the seeds of doubt started to creep in. The normally philosophical Mr Mir was expressing some doubts about the accuracy of his dismissal and this sparked an interesting debate about this particular law which continued for some considerable time. This certainly caused consternation for batsman waiting to go in as Asjad took over the umpiring duties with a degree of menace in his eyes.

I suspect that Matt Bulpitt had been planning a thrilling innings as the highlight of Nicola's wedding anniversary but this was not to be as another leading edge proved his downfall. He returned crestfallen ..... but, never mind, by Monday evening he will be sitting by the river in France with a Kronenburg in hand and all will be forgotten. Happy days.

Joined by Mr Bevan, The Fish continued to take the Farnborough attack apart and oh what joys when he reached 38. As one, the crowds stood and applauded, the batsmen and umpires embraced, the Farnborough players wondered what on earth was going on..... and if only we had known that the day before Peter had found an error on the database and subtracted 4 runs from his total. Fortunately he remained calm and quietly went about scoring the 4 extra runs and, without anyone else knowing, celebrated this achievement by himself. I know that I speak for us all when we offer our sincere congratulations on this wonderful achievement... nice one Pete. Oh, by the way, Mr Fisher senior pointed out that if you are still playing at his age, you should have reached 30 000 by then. No pressure.

To make the occasion even more special, Pete went on to make 56 before tiredness crept in and he was caught and bowled. Matt Bevan also succombed to a leading edge and it was left to Messrs Page and Seeds to end the game in style. After the usual nervy start, Richard suddenly decided enough was enough and launched 6,6,4,4 to ensure a resounding 6 wicket victory against a team we thoroughly enjoy playing.

And so dear friends, here endeth my report and it was a privilege to be able to recount the detail of a day in which such an historic landmark was achieved. I look forward to seeing you all again on our return from holiday and I am thrilled that my first game back will be at sunny Swanscombe.

Cheers. Andy "I don't believe it" Redman