Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Shooters Hill 2001 CC

An excellent win against a very friendly and good opposition. David Jones picks up the story...

"Why do you always bowl like that?"

I was met by this query the moment, wallet-less, I walked through my front door on the evening after the game. I could tell from the tone of the question, the nuance in the voice, that this wasn't a remark which would lead to plaudits. Over 46 years in the same matrimonial home had sharpened my instincts and the alarm bells began to ring.

"Er, what do you mean, dear?"

(I'd used the term "dear" in a vain attempt to assuage the level of criticism which seemed to be about to descend on my head. I'd not used the term "darling" as this might have seemed over-obsequious, and there is such a thing as male pride in standing up for oneself.)

"You pitch too close to the bat, sometimes straight onto the bat - the other bowlers try to keep the ball away from the bat - they bounce the ball a bit sooner!"

If it's your wife (younger members do take note) she doesn't, apparently, have to have an MCC coaching certificate to be able to advise re what you're doing wrong.

In this, as in the previous game, I'd been lucky enough to find a batsman to do something daft in my first over - today, with my first ball (probably hadn't faced an OAP before) and get themselves out, caught. As, again on both occasions, the Eltham batsmen had clocked up a big score, and our opening bowlers had made certain that our opponents were always going to be behind in any run chase, the captain felt that it would be OK to humour the OAP in the team and let him have a few overs.

And a pattern had emerged : when bringing on said bowler, arrange for his wife to be chatted up by someone else???s wife (e.g. Nicola Bulpitt) or mother (e.g. Mrs Rosenthal) so that she doesn't see him taking any wicket for, as soon as she does notice that he's bowling, the spell descends and there's no further success.

To add insult to injury, Mrs OAP claimed that, from beyond the boundary, she hadn't recognised the fact, until advised otherwise, that husband was bowling. This seems strange as, surely, no-one else in the team is of the same shape and has the same sparse run-up. (Should have gone to SpecSavers!)

[That's a first for me - being featured - rather colourfully - in a cricket report - Janet Jones]

To get back to the beginning! We'd arrived at the ground, finding it difficult to find a parking spot, to discover hordes of footballers still engaged in matches which encroached onto the cricket out field. Our match started 31 minutes late (having also to wait for a changing room to become available) and had to be reduced to 35 overs per side.

And, of course, there are other stories behind the official statistics.

The Old Bexleian (ex-BGS pupils) openers seemed to be getting off to a good start when, almost unexpectedly, Peter Fisher fell. Colin Wouldham, however, was to carry his bat for a splendid 80 not out, fighting increasing weariness but sharing in more-than-useful partnerships - with Kashif, who again, showed just what a stylish batsman he is, with Peter Swain, for whom a dot-ball is anathema and, in a final flourish, with Matt Rosenthal. None of the Shooters Hill bowlers earned more than one wicket and 199-5 from 35 overs was to set our opponents a very difficult task.

The Eltham opening bowlers, Tanveer and Ricky Webber, bowling their full quota of 7 overs each, had taken half of the Shooters Hill wickets by the end of their stint - which is why Peter Swain felt, as mentioned above, that he could afford to be generous with any OAP in the side. For our opponents, Gayle contributed 74 runs - more than half of the side's total of 137 all out - but it was left to Kashif to provide the coup-de-grace with 4 wickets for just 6 runs in just 14 balls. His very first ball would have accounted for many a better batsman than his victim - a jaffa of a ball, perfect line and length and which simply removed the bails without disturbing the stumps. His victims included Gayle, caught by hero Wouldham and with Matt Rosenthal (who must have used an arm extension) plucking a seemingly impossible catch out of the air.

As has been said on the comments for this match, the whole game was played in such an excellent spirit and with Shooters Hill asking for return fixtures in the future, we hope to reacqauint ourselves with them in future seasons.

[Members may like to know that there were matches between these two clubs at least as early as 1873]