Eltham CC

Match Report

Match report Eltham CC Vs Ide Hill CC

After the home victory last week against Gravesend, Eltham were on their travels again. A mini-plateau had been found amongst the rolling hills of West Kent, where the amicable souls of Ide Hill CC had made their home. Memories of the exciting draw in 2012 at Footscray, with Bulpitt scoring a century, began to surface as pleasantries were exchanged with the opposition.

Pad had arrived first and confessed that he thought it was a 1.30 start. (Good plan skipper!) Soon after, the Bisleys arrived, looking rather dashing/dazzling (take your pick) in their matching Eltham CC hoodies, part of the new exclusive range, and began to unload their car. As the boot was opened, out fell an assortment of bags and boxes full of new kit (Please insert joke here about it falling of the back of a lorry!!) The new kit was here and the chunterers of Eltham would at last be appeased.

After a few more arrivals, and introductions for Phil Jones, who hadn't played for Eltham for a while (good to see you back), it was noted that the skipper wasn't present. Nor were 3 other players: Gary, Derek and Ricky - common denominator they were all travelling together in Derek's car. A message was received to say that they were 15 mins away - plenty of time as we were 25 mins away from the start of the match.

In the absence of the captain, Colin went out to the middle to toss up. The local rules were explained to him (see below) and having won the toss, secure in the knowledge that the rest of the team were only a mile away now, chose to field.

LOCAL RULES for future reference

1. Any byes or legs byes that cross the boundary count as 2 not 4, this is to encourage fast bowling despite the small proportions of the pitch. 2. The boundary line was the cut grass all round and the road at one end, but the ball had to clear the fences to count as 6. 3. The ball would have to clear the changing rooms and the fence onto the road to count as 6, but if it landed over the buildings but in front of the fence it would be 4

Simple when you know..!! but we were rather bemused !!

So the 7 Eltham players took to the field, most looking rather good in their new kit (although your reporter decided to save his for tour !) Suddenly Derek was spotted, and, after overshooting the entrance, skidded to a halt alongside the pitch. Out staggered a rather shaken Ricky and a pale looking Gary (apparently Thorpe Park has nothing compared to the white knuckle ride they had just endured) and the skipper. Derek wheelspun and roared off up to the car park.

Needless to say we hung around a bit, waiting for the excuses of lateness, (later on given as lateness at meeting point, getting lost in Bromley, stopping for petrol, defunct SatNav etc.. all in a part of the world used as a regular walking haunt) until 9 players started the game.

Pad and Matt opened up the attack on a helpful wicket and bowled tidily to restrict the openers to very few scoring shots. However, Calthorpe was just biding his time and began his assault on the first change bowlers. He rapidly progressed to his 50 with his team only on 60 odd - talk about hogging the strike !

The bowling changes came and went with no-one really able to slow the scoring rate of Calthorpe, although he rode his luck, being dropped several times. Eventually Phil managed to get his man caught in the deep. In true Jones fashion, he claimed it was a master plan to have bought the wicket - rather expensive but worth it!! The stand had been worth 136. Hodgson continued his painfully slow progress and with Pete picking up a couple of late wickets - why doesn't he bowl earlier? - the Ide Hill innings was completed at 201 for 5. Pete, Pad and Matt were the pick of the bowlers on a tricky day at the coalface!

An enjoyable tea was had and the Eltham openers strolled to the wicket knowing that the target was difficult but achieveable on a small ground. The opening bowlers bowled straight and with a little uneven bounce, runs were hard to come by. Wrigley in particular was causing problems with his skiddy style. With the help of the pitch, a quick fingered umpire, it soon felt that 200+ was miles away as the total read 29 for 5. To be fair, I played a bad shot, Gary, Phil and Derek were done by the pitch/umpire combination and Will got an absolute peach. He said it was even better than the 'banana-shaped swinging in-ducker' that Pad bowled a few years ago! However it is only fair to acknowledge an excellent bowling spell including at least a couple of truly unplayable deliveries.

Pete and Colin steadied the ship for a handful of overs, but as the 20 overs mark was reached, Eltham still required 160 more runs (8 an over!) - surely out of reach, particularly when Pete ran out of patience and was caught behind in the next over. Enter Pad, who along with Colin, paved the way for the comeback. Colin dispatched the bowling to all parts of the ground except, disappointingly, not to 'cow corner', which as luck would have it, actually for once had cows grazing in it! Pad being slightly more reserved hit 26 before he too lost his head and his wicket going for the 'big one'.

Colin passed 50 soon after as Ide Hill struggled to prevent him and Matt scoring freely. This remarkable turnaround meant a victory might really be a possibility. Unfortunately Colin fell with the total on 145 to a blinding catch at slip, leaving Matt to bat on with George, who claimed to be "no sort of batsman". However the spectators begged to differ with this assessment as George dug in a hit some quality shots in support of Matt who was in full flow. As the overs dwindled away, so did the runs required column and suddenly almost every ball found its way to the boundary. Matt raced passed 50 and even the recall of the excellent Wrigley failed to prevent an Eltham victory by 2 wickets. Celebrations were slightly muted in comparison to last week, no-one running round the pitch - Gary!!, but we were still euphoric.

An amazing game with Colin and Matt the heroes, although Phil still claimed to have made it such an exciting game by setting a decent total with his bowling figures. Colin, in fact, was so amazed that he began to question whose underwear he was putting on after showering - claiming that his boxers may have belonged to the skipper. This was categorically denied by Pete, but no proof was found to back either story! Hopefully Gail can sort out the confusion in future by providing name labels for Colin's clothes like Nancy does for Derek.

Most made it to the pub where players from both teams were still slightly in shock. Calthorpe provided bowls of cheesy chips, I assume they may have been in honour of his century (full marks for originality, but not a patch on an orange juice jug !!)

It was getting late but there was still time for Derek to lose his black folder and return to the ground, only to find it already in his bag! And for Gary to lament that he was missing the Eurovision song contest, what a heartache! (Bonnie Tyler joke provided by C.Wouldham) Another wonderful game played in the right spirit against good opposition: 400 runs; a century, 2 fifties, a fivefor and cheesy chips - what more could you want?

Bring on the tour !

Reported by Peter Fisher